I stumbled upon an article where the big Aristotle had figured out three kinds of friendships:
1) Friendships of utility: exist between you and someone who is useful to you in some way. For instance, perhaps you're friendly with your mate mainly because he/she helps you figure out things.
These are friendships of the "You scratch my back; I'll degrade myself to menial job" kind.
I'd say these people are acquaintances, as opposed to big A's "Friendships of Utility".
2) Friendships of pleasure: exist between you and those whose company you enjoy. Often, these are "activity buddies", those people with whom you do things like playing soccer, going for long walks or watch movies. You may have this kind of relationship with one of the other locals, the kind of person with whom you enjoy a little chit-chat or a good joke.
Would "friendships with benefits" fall into this category, because you're both enjoying the sexual pleasure? Or into the first category, because you're using each other for sex?
I think this is a bit closer to #2, because Aristotle says friendships of pleasure come about because we do like some or many aspects of the friend. We might like his/her wits, compassion or flirty manner, for instance. Friendships of utility, on the other hand, exist mainly because the person can help us out in some way.
Expecting the above 2 types to be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on or sense your moods, pains without you needing to mention, is not a good idea.
3) Friendships of the good: are based on mutual respect and admiration. These friendships take longer to build than the other two kinds, but they're also more powerful and enduring. They often arises when two people recognise that they have similar values or goals; that they have similar visions for how the world (or at least their lives) should be. Not infrequently, they begin in childhood, adolescence or college, though it may form after that, too. If you have one or 2 in this category, consider yourself lucky, nurture those and hold on to them till your last breath.
1) Friendships of utility: exist between you and someone who is useful to you in some way. For instance, perhaps you're friendly with your mate mainly because he/she helps you figure out things.
These are friendships of the "You scratch my back; I'll degrade myself to menial job" kind.
I'd say these people are acquaintances, as opposed to big A's "Friendships of Utility".
2) Friendships of pleasure: exist between you and those whose company you enjoy. Often, these are "activity buddies", those people with whom you do things like playing soccer, going for long walks or watch movies. You may have this kind of relationship with one of the other locals, the kind of person with whom you enjoy a little chit-chat or a good joke.
Would "friendships with benefits" fall into this category, because you're both enjoying the sexual pleasure? Or into the first category, because you're using each other for sex?
I think this is a bit closer to #2, because Aristotle says friendships of pleasure come about because we do like some or many aspects of the friend. We might like his/her wits, compassion or flirty manner, for instance. Friendships of utility, on the other hand, exist mainly because the person can help us out in some way.
Expecting the above 2 types to be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on or sense your moods, pains without you needing to mention, is not a good idea.
3) Friendships of the good: are based on mutual respect and admiration. These friendships take longer to build than the other two kinds, but they're also more powerful and enduring. They often arises when two people recognise that they have similar values or goals; that they have similar visions for how the world (or at least their lives) should be. Not infrequently, they begin in childhood, adolescence or college, though it may form after that, too. If you have one or 2 in this category, consider yourself lucky, nurture those and hold on to them till your last breath.
