Live for yourself!

One day back in the early 80s, I asked my Amma why she was not cooking her favourite curry anymore. Pat came a response, “Appa is not fond of it”. I have seen her patiently remove chunks of tomatoes from her plate of Rasam rice. She was not fond of tomatoes, but that didn’t stop her from making Rasam with tomatoes in them, as my Appa could imagine lunch without it.

Almost all families have a story like this, isn’t it? Women always do everything for their family members’ happiness, not their own. Above examples are only tip of the iceberg of sacrifices women make for their families. They sacrifice/give in, to their parents, siblings – primarily to brothers and younger sisters; once married, they adjust for their in-laws; then, husbands; once children are born, their needs and wants are of utmost priorities. They are the most compromising lots when it comes to their friends.

Above mentioned may be simple things; but if you think deep, women in or after their 40s begin to feel something is missing in their lives. They always would have been busy with running households, going to full-time work, taking care of in-laws, busy with kids, their schools, homework etc, so much so that they completely forgot to give attention to themselves. When kids grow up, leave homes, previous generation pass on, do they realise that they have nothing to do with themselves and continue with their routines, still putting spouse’s welfare over themselves.

Ladies, just ask yourselves what makes you come alive. Nothing great in the World has been accomplished without passion. That gives you real pleasure. It can be anything, be it gardening, painting, music, craft work, writing, reading, charity work; the options are endless. Women’s biggest fear is what others might think.

Stop worrying about pleasing others so much; just do what makes you happy. Age is just a number. Go for long walks alone, take in the Nature. Plan for a trip to a place you have always wanted to go; gift that to yourself. Enjoy your “Me” time. Finding passion is not just about careers and money. It is all about finding your authentic self. Be engaged with your passion. Be happy and satisfied with yourself.

These days most educated men are extremely understanding and don't stand in the way of women wanting to do something for themselves. Looking at many women around feeling so lost, not just lost alone, but being unhappy for many opportunities lost; in some cases, feeling a sense of longing too. Embrace those women who are lost. Let’s all guide and support each other without being judgemental. Live and let live of fellow women! After all, 40s are the new 20s or 30s, however you want to take it!
PC: Google (I loved it)