Big Aristotle's take on friendships and my 2 cents worth

I stumbled upon an article where the big Aristotle had figured out three kinds of friendships:
1) Friendships of utility: exist between you and someone who is useful to you in some way. For instance, perhaps you're friendly with your  mate mainly because he/she helps you figure out things.
These are friendships of the "You scratch my back; I'll degrade myself to menial job" kind.
I'd say these people are acquaintances, as opposed to big A's "Friendships of Utility".

2) Friendships of pleasure: exist between you and those whose company you enjoy. Often, these are "activity buddies",  those people with whom you do things like playing soccer, going for long walks or watch movies. You may have this kind of relationship with one of the other locals, the kind of person with whom you enjoy a little chit-chat or a good joke.

Would "friendships with benefits" fall into this category, because you're both enjoying the sexual pleasure? Or into the first category, because you're using each other for sex?
I think this is a bit closer to #2, because Aristotle says friendships of pleasure come about because we do like some or many aspects of the friend. We might like his/her wits, compassion or flirty manner, for instance. Friendships of utility, on the other hand, exist mainly because the person can help us out in some way.

Expecting the above 2 types to be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on or sense your moods, pains without you needing to mention, is not a good idea.

3) Friendships of the good: are based on mutual respect and admiration. These friendships take longer to build than the other two kinds, but they're also more powerful and enduring. They often arises when two people recognise that they have similar values or goals; that they have similar visions for how the world (or at least their lives) should be. Not infrequently, they begin in childhood, adolescence or college, though it may form after that, too. If you have one or 2 in this category, consider yourself lucky, nurture those and hold on to them till your last breath.

Movie Review: Netflix Original - Lust Stories

When a movie is called Lust Stories, one wonders if it is a marketing ploy to lure in audiences that are pretentious and express hatred towards sex, but in fact enjoy. I wonder who came up with the name! I read very brief description about it before it got released in my country. I got curious to find out who in India would dare make a movie with such openness. Boy! Not just one, but 4 different directors have come up with segments with their own signatures.

As far as stories about four women go, Lust Stories is everything about the characters make feminists ask questions that make us uncomfortable, those that women try to shoo away in the cold reality of the day, inadvertently, yet can’t escape at night. They do it all by just go on about their lives the way many of us would; or just the way you and I wouldn’t have the courage to.

The First segment starts with the story of Anurag Kashyap’s Kalindi. Her issues with commitment and marriage makes her neurotic, misguided and eventually possessive. Kalindi is in a long-distance, open marriage. She seduces and sleeps with her student, tries to convince herself that the obsession she develops for him is born out of her worldly ideas of love and monogamy. Initially, she gets concerned that her student might get possessive, fall in love, ends up stalking her. She starts to stalk her lover with her sudden alarming behaviour and fixation. One gets uncomfortably aware of the unspoken gender dynamics unfolding on the screen and her sex protects her. I high expectations of Radhika Apte and was mildly disappointed.

The Second story is by Zoya Akhtar. This story is about a house maid who, for a brief moment, allows herself from the regular confinements of her life, to start a sexual relationship with her single employer. However, it is short lived and thanks to class consciousness, she is swiftly shoved back into her place, as her employer proceeds to get engaged to another woman, as she watches on. His thoughtless is something many women experience in life, be it from lover or husband. No one notices the maid’s unspoken and unspeakable desire. Her continued silence only underlines her invisibility in the house, society, and even the life of the man who was happy to have sex with her, until a suitable match, an equal comes along. The most poignant moment was when the mother refers to her son as Bhaiya, (Brother) while talking to the maid. You feel sad for her. Bhoomi excels in the role of a house maid.

The Third story is of Dibakar Bannerjee’s Reena, who is unhappily married to a rich and successful businessman, while having an affair with his best friend, a heart surgeon. The story unfolds through conversations — between the husband and wife, the two best friends, the lovers. The characters steer clear of the usual clichés that inevitably expressed when the theme of adultery and subsequent breakdown of marriages are handled/showcased. Though this story revolves around an affair, but it is actually simply about denial, and the way each of the characters continue to play their part in order to maintain the status quo. Beautifully, subtly yet effectively portrayed by none other than Manisha Koirala. She has performed the role with class. One slight, wrong move, the character could have turned out bad.

And the last story is by Karan Johar. Megha, a young and beautiful school teacher, waking up to her sexual needs, but, has no clue on how to go about the lust she. She gets married to a man who seems decent enough, hoping to be satisfied often yet respectably. Unfortunately, her simple-minded, run-off-the-mill husband is blissfully unaware that his bride is unsatisfied with his performance in the bedroom, until an unfortunate series of events results in an acutely embarrassing showdown. KJo’s leading lady is the only character whose motivations are purely fuelled by lust, but instead of treating her sexual appetite like a guilty pleasure that must be kept a secret, seen as a taboo, K Johar has painted her well that she owns it boldly in a way only very few of us can.

This series might be called Lust Stories, but it is just about life and the exhaustingly unimaginative, thoughtless nature of relationships. Sex is most certainly a character in each of the four films, but, it isn’t the only one that matters. Like in real life, it is in turns messy, transactional, unemotional, forgettable, unforgettable, possessive, and routine. Couple of my guy friends in fact messaged me saying that they found it not vulgar, but very interesting and good. As a woman myself, I didn't not find the story revolting or irrational in anyway.  All being said, Lust Stories is about what women India need! A break-free from many taboos!

சூரியகாந்தி

கதிரவனின் முகம் கண்டு
மலரத் துடிக்கும் அழகு
சூரியகாந்தி போல் - தன் 
தலைவனின் புன்னகைக் கண்டு
மலரக் காத்திருக்கிறாள்
இதோ இந்த சூரியகாந்தி!

Movie Review: Munnariyippu

Munnariyippu, A very pragmatic, under-rated Malayalam movie. Munnariyippu means Warning. It is sad that  mediocre films earn well and  we miss out on such a beautiful cinema.

The film follows the journey of 2 protagonists - a female journalist and a criminal convicted for 2 murders. The movie is about how their worlds merge for mutual agenda. One is struggling to make a mark in her respective field and the other who even after completing his term in jail, is happy to be within the confines of the jail. Anjali, a freelance journalist meets Raghavan, an interesting inmate, who outstays his jail sentence for a crime he vehemently claims to have not committed. His vastly different views interests Anjali who wants to desperately document his life and happenings. Here's Anjali who is giving in to the demands of the pragmatic and competitive world and then, there's Raghavan, who is not able to inscribe his words because he believes original thoughts can not be bound under the deadline of ruthless time frames. 

With a fine cast of Nedumudi Venu & Prathap Pothen in small, but significant roles along with a cameo by Prithviraj, but Venu is exceptional. However, the film belongs to Aparna as a character we identify with, in our daily life, struggling to make a mark and not letting go of that opportunity that she believes  that it could be a defining moment in her career. 

All the applauds should to Mammootty for giving a performance that will actually amaze you with sheer astonishment during climax. Mammootty truly underplays his emotions so effectively. The character of Raghavan is easily one of the most important characters ever written and no better artist to do justice to it than Mammootty.

Now, I understand what the hoo-haa about the movie was all about. We watch cinema all across the country; but there are films that go unrecognised, for reasons unknown and this is one of them. 

Movie review: RAAZI

Raazi is the story of a simple as any other college girl whose father is a core member of the intelligence bureau of India. The relations between India and Pakistan are on the verge of war. The story revolves around the sensitivities and volatile situations on both sides of the borders. The father who is under the disguise of a friend to the military officials of Pakistan decides to sacrifice his daughter’s life by getting her married to Brigadier’s son. Before getting married, she gets trained by the best Intelligence personnel.

Sehmat, the girl, sacrifices her everything to move to Pakistan and spy for the intelligence bureau. Living amongst them, Sehmat risks her life every day, to gather all the confidential information needed, in order to give India an upper edge in case war erupts. Dodging the risks, how her life changes when she falls in love with her husband Iqbal and what she has to endure all through, in order to protect the pride of her nation is what forms the crux of the movie.

Shankar Ehsaan Loy’s music is good. Less dialogues mean, more emotions beautifully captured. First half was not satisfactory on many aspects. Introducing Sehmat as a sensitive girl and then, portraying her as a strong-willed girl was not convincing enough. The girl accepts her father’s decision (to have become a member of IB, and in turn, the girl needing to become one is not convincing enough in the first place). Editing was poor. Alia Bhatt has grabbed a role of a life-time and she has done justice to it. Meghna Gulzar, daughter of legendary Gulzarji has made him proud with her directorial ability. Costumes, especially, Kashmiri embroidered outfits and the sets look good truly reflecting periodic story.

I told couple of friends that when so many people rave about a movie so much, I tend to walk out from the theatre feeling “”MEH””. This was one such movie. Nevertheless, a good attempt!

A day to remember!

Oh! that very special day; A day to remember!

The day you walked into my existence

You effortlessly captivated my heart.

A chance to see your soul through your smile

A chance to look in to your eyes

That look that said I love you..

Each night when I went to bed

I lay my head back down, and would pray

Lord, don't let this be a dream!

There was an empty place inside of my soul

It's the place I tried to fill repeatedly, a void

And then that day my day to remember,

You walked into my life to fill the void

And made my life complete.

ஊகிக்க சொல்லாதே

ஊகிக்க சொல்லாதே..
ஊகம் மிக எளிதன்று..
ஊகமெல்லாம் வேண்டாம்.. வேண்டாம்..
சொல்ல வேண்டியவை அனைத்தும் சொல்லிவிடு..
புராணங்கள் கூறும்படி ஆன்மா ஆனபின் தெரிந்துதான் என்ன பயன்?
அது பதில் கூறுவதைத்தான் அறிவதும் சாத்தியமா?
இருக்கும்போதே சொல்லிவிடு..
கவிதையாய் கசிந்துருகி,
கதையாய் கொட்டித் தீர்த்து,
வார்த்தைகளாய், வாசகமாய்,
பாட்டுக்களால் அல்லது மெட்டுக்களால்..
அடிக்கடி அள்ளித் தெளித்துவிட்டு போ!
போவது நம் கையில் இல்லை..
ஆயின் வாழ்வது நம் கையிலுண்டு..
வாழ்க்கையை வாழ்ந்து, ரசித்து பார்ப்போம், வா!

நிஜம்!

பல நாட்கள் உன் பதிலுக்கு காத்திருந்து..
பல பொழுதுகளாய் உன் வரவுக்கு காத்திருந்து..
பல நேரங்களில் உன் அன்புக்கு காத்திருந்து..
பல இரவுகளில் உன் அணைப்பிற்கு காத்திருந்து..
பூவிழி பூத்துப் போய்,
மனம் மரத்துப் போன
எனை ஏளனமாய் பார்த்து,
எள்ளி நகைத்தது நிஜம்..

Have I ever told you?

Have I ever told you that if I sit really still and silent, sometimes, I like to think I can hear your heart beating in time with mine?

When I watched you speak to me through lines and cords, I imagined
your voice, whispering into my ear..

Have I ever told you that I wait each day in anticipation, wanting
just a second in space and time, to feel close to you once more?

There are times, when I ache for you, ache for you so badly, that the emotions overwhelm me..

Have I ever told you that sometimes, I reach out, touching your name, your face too, on this cold screen before me, wishing I could reach in and pull you to me?

After the first time I heard the sound of your voice, I sat up all night, turning the conversation over and over in my mind.

Have I ever told you that I would love to be with you just for one night, to be able to lay near you,
to feel you & touch you, only to make sure you are real?

Have I ever told you that I think of you often, I want you to reach out and touch my hand gently, simply to let me know that you are there,
and everything is okay?

Life, a beautiful experience!

Life has a way of throwing a googly at you, every time you make plans, when you think you have everything under control. It has the capacity to pull you down, give you pain, heartaches, you name it, it does. Then again, it is the best teacher one could wish for all things it teaches you. When something bad or sad happens, should we give up or should we go with the flow, blaming on everything and everyone or even better, should we fight against all odds and come victorious in the end, with another experience up our sleeves and many more lessons learnt? That's a choice you need to make. Giving up is easy; sulking and crying foul is even easier, but facing and fighting against all odds is next to near impossible, but it is worth a choice to make. 

First 18 yrs of my life have been perfect. I was brought up like a Princess with people at my beck and call. Everything was handed over on a platter to me. I had no exposure to the outside World. If my luck would have it, I could have lived like that, but Alas! It was not meant to be.

My luck ran out, once I completed 18. I was thrown in the deep end and ended up swimming to the other end of the spectrum. I learnt to swim, slowly but surely. I learnt the art of handling people’s emotions, and managing them. I learnt what humiliation was. I found out how lonely one can be, though surrounded by people all the time. Being an only child, I learnt that what’s mine, is never mine; I had learnt the art of sharing and giving. I also learnt (the hard way) that no matter what you do for people, they would have only their vested interests in mind. Their families mattered more than you, though you were part of their families. I learnt that there’s no one who cared more for you than your parents. The most valuable lesson I learnt in life was that, in utmost distress and tragedies, you were all alone and that you needed to be stronger and face everything head on.

Do I have regrets? Absolutely not! "Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny - CS Lewis” When something bad happens, you have 3 choices. You can let it define you; let it destroy you or let it strengthen you.

What do all these life experiences do to you? They humble you; make you stronger; teach you the real meaning of life; break you but then build you up stronger and taller; bring out the humility in you; make you aware of, to appreciate and be at peace with your surroundings;

Go on! Don’t succumb and sulk! Face life boldly. In fact, life is so beautiful to sit and sulk or give up!